Newcastle Daze

June 5, 2009

By Imelda Dulcich

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Often, you see a movie character on death’s bed, pale and exhausted, slowly breathing out the final words “Wait, I wasn’t finished…”

While I was not quite finished writing for this paper, politics are potentially about to become a part of our household again – and sometimes, you have to do the right thing (in this case, give up my column) for the one you love. Now, I do not love him quite so much today, but anyone familiar with the design of marriage knows that everything is cyclical. I’ll love him more tomorrow.

In the meantime, I had so much more I wanted to share. Here’s the cheat sheet:

Look for people who hold you to the moon. Some people dislike you just because of the way you breathe. Accept that. Why bother with people who are desperate to bring you down? It’s draining. Fill your soul and your days with light and good people.

Be joyful. I watched a “Green Acres” rerun not long ago. Some might think that Lisa Douglas was a nut who should have adapted to the country lifestyle at “Green Acres” with her husband Oliver Wendell Douglas (“Farm livin’ is the life for me”).

The day I watched the show, Lisa waltzed into the unsightly farm kitchen wearing a blouse that had a row of faux-diamond buttons the size of baseballs. Her hair was up, and her eyelashes were on and as long as could be! Completely oblivious to the little things around her that might be depressing, Lisa embraced those things that gave her delight and joy. 

 Look for the surprise in each day. When we were growing up, my mother told us that Tuesdays were “nine Hail Mary days.” If we said nine Hail Marys on Tuesdays, we would have a nice surprise before the day was done. 

I’m sure it was her way of guaranteeing that we actually prayed. The magic of Tuesdays became that we knew something good would happen. No matter how small, a nice surprise always came, and we acknowledged each happening with marvel.  

Step down. It’s OK to take a break — from a duty, a responsibility, a friend. Sometimes, we need to look around at what we’ve let our lives become and reconsider everything. You might be surprised at how well things can go on without you. It can be a little humbling, but none of us is so important that the world will stop spinning if we’re not controlling everything. And believe me, there is so very little that we can control anyway.

Finally, I have two notes I keep on the inside of my kitchen cupboard. One simply states: “Marry the Kindest Person You Know.” The other is a poem that reminds me to welcome every change that comes my way.  

 

Guest House

This being human is a guest house

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of     sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

 

– Rumi

Reach Imelda Dulcich at newcastledaze@comcast.net.

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